So, recently I have been trying out message marketing. I have been sending a message that basically says, “Hello great to connect with you. I am a coach, consultant, and I own a marketing company. Would love to support you anyway I can. Feel free to reach out any time.”
Read to the end to find out if I think it's a good idea or not (by the way this blog is great for marketers, coaches, married couples, and people in general.)
When researching message marketing it was suggested by everyone to “Not sell right away” but to me that seems very deceptive. So I mention in my message what I do and how I can help. I have sent out about 100 of these.
Here’s what has happened so far after I sent the initial message.
First of all there were a couple real people that were not deceptive but that was a very small percentage, like 1-2 percent. Here’s what the rest were.
The deceptive sales pitch:
I had a chat with someone who claimed to be someone, but the more we talked, the more I wondered if they were who they said they were. The digital world can be a tricky place. Can we even have real conversations anymore?
As our chat unfolded, I struggled to figure out their intentions. Some folks hide behind their screens to push products or services, blurring the line between real connection and a sales pitch.
In my opinion, we need to be transparent about our intentions right from the start to ensure everyone's on the same page.
The fake friend:
Online friendships are a whole different ball game. We can connect with people from all over, but we've got to set some boundaries. Just like in the real world, not every online friendship will lead to a productive collaboration. Being clear about our limits can help us avoid misunderstandings.
These start off as ‘Hey I want to be your friend” but they usually don’t go anywhere. Even more often they lead to a sales pitch.
Some even send vocal recordings that seem genuine and personal but end up in hindsight to be one that they send to everyone. The most recent one I thought was real and I even responded but then the pitch came and that's when I realized I just recorded a audio message for a “Fake friend.” And to be honest that just makes you feel scammed and a little hurt.
Authenticity was a big question mark during our chat. Some people are genuine, while others hide behind their screens. To confirm who's who, I suggested video calls or Zoom meetings. The real deal won't shy away from showing their face.
These are usually the best ones in terms of the conversation. They will actually seem like real people and have long conversations with you trying to eventually do who knows what?
So the most recent one was a female person or at least claimed to be. I told my wife hey I’m chatting with some chick trying to see if it goes anywhere as far as marketing or coaching goes. In hindsight I am very glad that I discussed this with my wife. She said keep going see where it goes…
Ok this next section is a side note that can’t be ignored and lucky I didn't learn this the hard way.
A question looms large: Can a married man engage in chat conversations with women? It's a query that comes with its fair share of complexities and considerations.
When it comes to chatting with the opposite sex while married, it's essential to address some "what-if" scenarios:
Trust is the Foundation: Trust is the bedrock of any healthy relationship. In a marriage, trust between spouses is crucial. If a chat conversation with someone of the opposite sex makes either partner uncomfortable or erodes trust, it's time to reevaluate the situation.
Setting Boundaries: In marriage, clear boundaries are vital. Before engaging in chat conversations with anyone, it's essential to discuss and establish boundaries with your spouse. Understanding what is acceptable and what is not can help navigate these interactions.
Transparency is Key: Being open and honest with your spouse is paramount. If you decide to chat with someone, share this with your partner. Transparency fosters trust and ensures that your actions are not misinterpreted.
If both partners are comfortable with a married man engaging in chat conversations with women, here's how to navigate these interactions:
Open Dialogue: Continuously communicate with your spouse about your interactions. Discuss your conversations, share your feelings, and address any concerns that may arise.
Maintain Respect: Always uphold respect in your conversations. Be mindful of the tone and content of your messages. Avoid crossing any boundaries that have been established.
Avoid Secrecy: Secrecy can be detrimental to a marriage. Ensure that there are no hidden agendas or concealed conversations that could undermine trust.
The Bottom Line:
The question of whether a married man can chat with women ultimately depends on the individuals involved and the dynamics of their marriage. Trust, communication, and boundaries are vital components of the equation.
Let's imagine for a moment that I didn’t tell my wife about this conversation. How would that look? Even if my intentions were pure and I wasn't trying any funny stuff?
Bam, that's the type of stuff that can end a beautiful marriage.
So when this, “Person” we will call them, sent me a picture of her working at her computer or at least that’s how it looked I said,
“hey just to be transparent, I am happily married. I am allowed to have female friends but nothing more than that, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.” Then the person seemed to be like “ok that’s cool no wrong ideas.”
Then I said, "ever thought about working on your personal brand?" (Note: The person had told me that she was in fashion and worked with Chanel. Which honestly was a huge red flag.)
Then I said, “it's pretty weird to chat with someone I have never met face to face. Why don’t we hop on a zoom? I mean I have heard a bunch of nightmare stories about this and there are so many scammers out there. It doesn't make you feel weird?”
The person says, “yea we should send pictures of ourselves holding our ID’s ha ha”
I said “no, that doesn't sound like a good idea to me. Let's hop on a zoom.”
Of course this person disappears.
Never send your ID or a picture of your ID to anyone ever!
Honestly who knows who this person was, I’ll never know and I don’t want to. And, who knows what that person would have done with a picture of me holding my ID.
Sounds crazy but I'm sure there are plenty of identity theft victims with similar stories.
So, can a married man have chat conversations with women? Yes, but only when these interactions are based on trust, clear communication, and mutual understanding within the marriage.
After all I am a coach and have coached many women. I also have female friends with nothing "weird" going on.
In today's digital age, the lines of communication have evolved. The ability to navigate chat conversations while married hinges on the foundation of trust and the willingness to engage in open, honest dialogue with your spouse.
Honesty should be at the core of our online interactions. Some people might seem friendly at first but ultimately pitch their products or services, try to scam you, or try to get you to do something other than the initial intention.
Being upfront about your professional goals from the get-go helps maintain trust and authenticity.
We all react differently to messages and outreach. Tailoring your approach to your audience can lead to more meaningful connections. Sending personalized messages that match the recipient's interests can make your online chats more genuine. But beware! You may be inviting the vampires into your home which we all know is a bad idea.
Setting clear boundaries is essential to safeguard your time and energy. Be open and unapologetic about your intentions and limits to keep your digital chats meaningful and respectful.
In a nutshell, message marketing and online outreach open up a world of networking opportunities. But as we navigate these digital waters, we need to be cautious, transparent, and authentic.
Not every connection will turn into a solid relationship, but by setting clear expectations and boundaries, we can make the most of our online interactions and build genuine connections in the digital age.
In today's digital world, it's harder to distinguish between real and fake, and it's challenging to find authentic connections. As we continue our digital journey, it's crucial to stay vigilant and real in our conversations.
The online realm offers immense opportunities, but it also has its pitfalls. Our online interactions can be sincere and meaningful, but they require a discerning eye to navigate this ever-changing digital landscape.
So do I think message marketing is a good Idea? Honestly No I don’t. So I am going to set up my auto responder instead and sell from the start. That way people don’t get the wrong idea, feel scammed, or try to ruin my marriage.
Guys it's a doggy dog world out there and there are a lot of wolves dressed in sheep's clothing so beware!!!!