In August, my wife and I celebrated our 4th anniversary. Little did we know that we were about to have a remarkable journey filled with adventures, challenges, and self-discovery. Today, as we sit down to reflect, we find ourselves both weary and grateful for the 29 moves we've made together during this short period of time. By the way we also have done many other things including making movies, writing books, creating courses, coaching many people, and running 4 different successful companies, and the list goes on. Read further for some great relationship advice.
Each move, driven by good reasons and aspirations, has left an indelible mark on our lives. However, the cumulative effect of these transitions has taken its toll, both financially and emotionally. Moving isn't just about packing boxes; it's about uprooting your life, your routines, and your sense of place. It's about the hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars spent on each move, with the most expensive being the trek from LA to Texas, costing us nearly $5,000.
When I say I need to be at home, I mean it. We're now on a quest to find the right place that will offer us the comfort and stability we've been yearning for. Our plan is to hunker down for at least a year, allowing us the time we need to recover and recharge before our next great adventure.
I'd like to pose a question to all our readers: How many times have you moved in the past four years? Has anyone out there topped our 28 moves?
By the way many marriages break up after the stress of one move, much less 28 all around the world. But we held strong through it all.
Moving is a monumental decision for many, often filled with uncertainties and fears. I understand those apprehensions, but if we can do it, so can you. In fact, our journey from LA to Texas marked our biggest move, as we closed down our entire company and sold nearly everything that no longer served us, carrying only the essentials for the road. We drove nearly 1,400 miles, and that's not counting the unloading of the van.
Most marriages break up after just one move, let alone 28, which have included cross-country and international relocations. We'll be the first to admit that it wasn't always easy, but we made it through. Our journey has taught us valuable lessons that we believe can benefit others in their relationships.
Lesson 1: The Weight of "Stuff"
We've learned that the weight of material possessions can make life more difficult during frequent moves. It's liberating to let go of what no longer serves you. Downsizing and simplifying your life can ease the burden of constant transitions.
Lesson 2: Decision-Making Together
The power of making decisions together cannot be overstated. Whether it's choosing a new destination or deciding which furniture to keep, involving your partner in the decision-making process fosters unity and understanding.
Lesson 3: Open and Honest Communication
Open and honest communication is the cornerstone of a resilient relationship. We've found that discussing our fears, expectations, and aspirations before and during each move has been essential to our success.
Lesson 4: Knowing When to Give Space
Understanding when to give each other space has been a major factor in maintaining harmony during our journey. Personal time and individual pursuits are just as crucial as shared experiences.
Lesson 5: Willingness to Change
We've realized the importance of evolving as individuals to better meet each other's needs. Being open to changing behaviors and habits to align with your partner's expectations can strengthen your bond.
Lesson 6: Active Listening
Listening to each other, not just hearing, is vital for a thriving partnership. Taking the time to understand your partner's thoughts and feelings fosters empathy and connection.
Lesson 7: Self-Care
Meditation, exercise, and breathwork have been our allies throughout this journey. Prioritizing self-care helps us stay grounded and manage the inevitable stresses of moving.
Lesson 8: Independence and Autonomy
Recognizing when we need to go off on our own and pursue our individual interests has been crucial. A healthy relationship allows for personal growth and independence.
Lesson 9: Patience Between Moves
Patience between moves has been a saving grace. Rushing into the next transition only adds unnecessary stress. Allowing time for adjustment and reflection is essential.
Lesson 10: Mental Preparation
Preparing ourselves mentally for the stresses of each move has been a game-changer. Acknowledging the challenges and facing them head-on has made us stronger.
We understand that our experiences might seem extreme, but the lessons we've learned are universally applicable. The ripple effects of these lessons in our relationship have been massive.
It's important to note that none of this would have been possible if we were willing to accept our circumstances and stay in one place, as so many people and couples do. Our journey has not only strengthened our bond but also enriched our lives with countless experiences.
In the coming sections of this blog post, we'll delve deeper into each of these lessons, providing practical insights and real-life examples. So stay tuned for the in-depth exploration of our 28-move marriage, and how you can apply these lessons to your own relationship for a stronger and more resilient partnership.
Lesson 1: The Weight of "Stuff"
The clutter of possessions can weigh us down, both physically and emotionally. Each move was an opportunity to reassess what truly mattered to us. We often found ourselves questioning the necessity of certain items. It was liberating to declutter, donate, and shed the excess baggage. Downsizing allowed us to streamline our lives, and in the process, we discovered the joy of minimalism.
Lesson 2: Decision-Making Together
Making decisions together wasn't always easy, especially when faced with major life choices like where to move next or what to keep or discard. However, involving each other in these decisions was essential. It wasn't just about compromise; it was about collaboration. We learned to respect each other's opinions and find middle ground, which ultimately strengthened our bond.
Lesson 3: Open and Honest Communication
Effective communication is a lifeline in any relationship, especially when navigating the unknown. Prior to every move, we'd sit down and discuss our expectations, fears, and dreams. These conversations allowed us to address any concerns and make plans to support each other emotionally. Honest communication was our anchor in the stormy sea of change.
Lesson 4: Knowing When to Give Space
We discovered that giving each other space was not a sign of detachment but a mark of understanding. There were moments when one of us needed time alone to process emotions or simply enjoy solitude. Granting that space was a way of showing respect for each other's individual needs.
Lesson 5: Willingness to Change
Adapting and evolving together was paramount. We realized that personal growth and change were not only inevitable but desirable. By changing behaviors and habits to better complement our partner's needs, we created a dynamic where we could grow together.
Lesson 6: Active Listening
Active listening involves more than just hearing words; it entails understanding the emotions and intentions behind them. We made a conscious effort to listen, not just to respond, but to truly grasp each other's perspective. This deepened our empathy and kept us connected.
Lesson 7: Self-Care
Meditation, exercise, and breathwork became our allies during moments of stress. Self-care wasn't a luxury; it was a necessity. By taking care of our mental and physical well-being, we could better support each other through the rigors of moving.
Lesson 8: Independence and Autonomy
Recognizing the importance of independence and pursuing individual interests allowed us to grow as individuals. Our relationship was a partnership, not a merger, and that balance made us stronger as a couple.
Lesson 9: Patience Between Moves
We learned that patience between moves was a virtue. Rushing into the next transition only exacerbated stress. By allowing ourselves time to adjust and recover, we approached each new chapter with greater resilience.
Lesson 10: Mental Preparation
Finally, mental preparation was key to our success. Acknowledging the challenges ahead and preparing ourselves mentally allowed us to tackle each move with greater confidence.
We faced adversity head-on, knowing that it was an integral part of our journey.
In the upcoming sections of this blog post, we'll explore each of these lessons in greater depth, sharing personal anecdotes and practical advice. Our hope is that you, our readers, can apply these lessons to your own relationships and find strength and resilience in the face of life's challenges.
Our journey has taught us that relationships can withstand even the most arduous trials when built on a foundation of trust, love, and mutual growth. So stay tuned for more insights and stories from our 28-move marriage, and discover how to make your own love story a resilient and lasting one.
Here's the inspirational takeaway: When you're faced with the challenge, believe that you can overcome it. When you're searching for your place in the world, remember that the journey is worth it. Returning to a place where you can truly call home signifies not just physical relocation but personal growth and a lifetime of experiences.
Don't avoid doing things because they're hard; conquer the tough stuff to revel in the extraordinary experiences we've had all around the world. And remember, this is just the beginning of our journey, and yours can be equally rewarding. So, believe in yourself, embrace the challenges, and let life's adventures continue.